Book Review: Say ‘Yes, And’ and Change Your Life

by Carol Wiley

How often has someone made a suggestion (or you had a thought) to which you responded, “Yes, but”? Have you considered that every “yes, but” stops the flow of creativity and energy? By simply changing your default mindset to “yes, and,” you can expand the possibilities in your life, according to Avish Parashar, author of Say “Yes, And!”: 2 Little Words That Will Transform Your Career, Organization, and Life!

“Yes, but” is a negative mindset that puts up walls when you say it to someone (or even to yourself). “Yes, but” is a safe response that maintains the status quo. “Yes, and” is an exploratory mindset that means you are willing to stay open to options that might work.

The book gives a number of examples for both personal and business relationships. I particularly like these examples:

Bill Gates: “Yes, And everyone will benefit from having a computer,” as opposed to “yes, but no one will ever need a home computer” (as several of his contemporaries said).

Gandhi: “Yes, And we can have our freedom without resorting to violence,” as opposed to, “yes, but we will never gain our freedom if we don’t fight our oppressors!”

Copernicus: “Yes, And my tests show that the Earth revolves around the sun not the other way around,” as opposed to, “yes, but everyone knows that the Earth is the center of the universe!”

Having the mindset of “yes, and” lets you see all options and therefore present a more perspective-oriented solution to issues. People with this point of view succeed in professions such as that of human resource manager, where you would have to have a masters in human resource management to enter the field.

Parashar emphasizes that “yes, and” isn’t about always agreeing with people, but it is a mindset that helps you stay open-minded, giving you the ability to search for options that might work. “Yes, but” tends to arise out of fear, short-term thinking, habit, and similar factors.

This short book is a quick and easy read and shows you ways to incorporate the “yes, and” mindset into your life, while still maintaining boundaries. The process is simple: